Where's Wayne?

Well, he used to be in San Francisco. Now he's in Grapevine, Texas, giving the people of the Dallas area something to smile about.
Yesterday I hopped into Daddy's car, and drove north to visit my good friend, Helen. She has found an awesome guy here in Texas who knows and loves wine.
Thankfully, Tim discovered Into the Glass some time ago, and I got to experience Wayne's fine food and even finer wine. We ate chicken and brie nachos with cranberries and a bit of spice. We also had melt-in-your-mouth steak salad, and a cold grilled chicken salad to die for.
So, a bit of home out here in Texas. Not bad for a red state.

I'd never be able to measure up

So, that's it, I can never have kids because I could never be the mom my little sis' has become. Here's a glimpse into supermom's capabilities:

Pick sister up from airport. Stop at store.


Return home to help kids and their cousins create their own individual pizzas and decorate cookies. Host kick-ass slumber party. Have Sundae making activity next day.


Take sister shopping for parents. Know every person's size and exactly what to get.

Purchase five gifts in three different stores in under an hour, having trained the five year-old to keep pace while hapless single sister runs behind carrying three year-old.


Meet father and step-mom for lunch, assign seats so each child is flanked by adult. Order prescisely for each child, ensure each is eating while holding adult conversation.


Host Christmas Eve at home. Prepare five dishes for snacking, including an incredible warm artichoke-crab dip. Apologize profusely for not having prepared fresh cookies. Stop to enjoy a cranberry champagne coctail and a special Christmas shot.

Wrap and build Christmas gifts until 2am.

Manage wrapping paper clean-up as kids open gifts. Remove all tape from wrapping paper for proper recycling.

Serve delicious creme brulee french toast for Christmas breakfast, accompanied by mimosas for the adults.

Manage to keep peace among kids who won't share new toys.

Finish clean-up, collapse on the couch and let still hapless single sister dress the two year-old in the five-year-old's jeans.

I am still in awe of my sister. How does she not crack?

Technical Difficulties: Please Stand-by

Sorry - no photo on this one - I am on DIAL-UP, that's right, out here the fandamily is waiting until wireless DSL moves into the community. It's soon, they say. So, I'm on my sister's old laptop, no access to the FANTASTIC photos of the day I've taken, ergo no witty and interesting descriptions.

I hope my fickle public does not tune out during this temporary set-back to 1972...

Everyday is a school day

I tell you what, livin' out on the land, deep in the heart of Texas, allows time for learnin'. As we took the kids out for their shootin' practice, we come up on this here cowpie. My sister notes its size (approximately 7" across, and about 4" high). 'Sis says, "Too much protein. When they pile like that, there's an inbalance in the cows' diet. Or is it too much fiber?" After we returned to the house, she took out her cattle-raising handbook to research the answer. How could I ever have learned this in the Santa Cruz mountains?

You'll shoot your eye out!

Check out the Red Rider BB Gun! You know you're in Texas, now, when eight and five year olds learn gun safety out on the land. They both shot targets with great skill. No animals were accosted, and no eyes were shot out during the making of this photo.

What's your job like?

Well, mine is so odd. But I love it. I work with kids, some of whom who are known to carry knives, yet we took them carolling for Christmas yesterday, and today we made a Mexican feast and had a fun gift exchange. I received a saucy halter top! Here's some pictures of my kids:
The girls are lounging - notice the boys making guacamole in the background! These ladies did cook a bit, though!

These are my awesome co-workers Louis and Ramon. They're making salad.


Victor and Jose are working so hard. That guacamole was sooo good.

Pedro is such an awesome kid - he also has the hook-up on great DVDs.

Luis composed some music, and then he cooked almost all of the carne asada for our feast.

This is Antonio (and a BAD picture of me). He's one of my advisees, and this is his usual facial expression. He's actually started to laugh lately. It's pretty cool. It's not all fun and games, though. He told me he hates me (it's all that obnoxious help I give him and the way I try to keep him out of trouble). I just tell him, "Well, I love you," then he laughs. I think he does actually appreciate me. If not, well, at least I get paid.

Yuli and Lilly are a couple of my brightest and funniest students. They made a sauce with chilis and tomatillos.

And for the record, I teach these kids to read better, write better, and live better most of the time. But the holidays are really fun at work.

Okay, I'm jealous!

Last year I could not help it. The fandamily said no blog, and I gave in. You see, I'm acutely aware that it's too late to give in to a marriage of convenience, meaning, for money. My family is all I will ever have if, gulp, tragedy strikes. So, I listen to them, like a sucka' lemming. But, all of you are having some fun, and I want some, too! So, take this, overbearing familial sorts, I'm blogging again!

P.S. Please don't tell my mom.