My mom called me from Aruba this morning. This may not seem odd, but I did not grow up with a mom who goes to Aruba. I grew up with a mom who had to shop at discount stores and wisely took advantage of free government cheese after she divorced in the 70's.
My strong and resourceful former struggling single mother of two now plays golf, travels the world, and drives a semi-luxury automobile. My mother has modeled for me a very valuable idea: marry for retirement.
After observing her retirement lifestyle, I have finally opened my eyes to the necessity of being prepared for this coming old age. I have beefed up my retirement savings, become a penny-pincher. She and her husband are having a great time of it.
And here's another thing I've realized: marrying for your retirement years is a very viable option when you haven't made it to the altar yet, and you're in your late 30's.
The dating conditions are pretty bleak out here in late 30's land. Here's the rub: the single guys your age are mostly recently divorced or have been focusing on amassing success. Many in these groups think they deserve a hot number who is at least 10 years younger than them. Funny, sometimes I feel the same way about what I deserve...
My yoga teacher tells me to marry younger because men age faster than women. She suggests seven years or so. Has anyone told the men that? I don't think so, because the majority of guys who look at my on-line profile are in their 50's. Guys my age don't even search for women their age. Don't they know they are going to get old and sick and die way before us? It's kind of rude to expect me to clean out their bedpan and listen to their incoherent babble in my golden years of vitality, don't you think?
So, I cannot plan for this possible future mate, all I can do is tell the 50-plusers to get real when it comes to dating me. But I can plan for retirement. And to marry for retirement.
Here's the logic of it: both of you have time, you've got money, and you're too tired to look for that unrealistic fantasy of the perfect mate. You know the grass isn't any greener over there, and you know how to enjoy the years that are left. The quality of each other's personalities will be what really matters, because the sex-drive is low. Vanity is lost, and only the choice to enjoy each day as much as possible is viable.
Not that any of this is my mom's reality - I am only surmising. I just see that it's working for her... and I really don't see most men coming to their senses any time soon. They still think they rule the world, after all. And they watch way too much porn.
My strong and resourceful former struggling single mother of two now plays golf, travels the world, and drives a semi-luxury automobile. My mother has modeled for me a very valuable idea: marry for retirement.
After observing her retirement lifestyle, I have finally opened my eyes to the necessity of being prepared for this coming old age. I have beefed up my retirement savings, become a penny-pincher. She and her husband are having a great time of it.
And here's another thing I've realized: marrying for your retirement years is a very viable option when you haven't made it to the altar yet, and you're in your late 30's.
The dating conditions are pretty bleak out here in late 30's land. Here's the rub: the single guys your age are mostly recently divorced or have been focusing on amassing success. Many in these groups think they deserve a hot number who is at least 10 years younger than them. Funny, sometimes I feel the same way about what I deserve...
My yoga teacher tells me to marry younger because men age faster than women. She suggests seven years or so. Has anyone told the men that? I don't think so, because the majority of guys who look at my on-line profile are in their 50's. Guys my age don't even search for women their age. Don't they know they are going to get old and sick and die way before us? It's kind of rude to expect me to clean out their bedpan and listen to their incoherent babble in my golden years of vitality, don't you think?
So, I cannot plan for this possible future mate, all I can do is tell the 50-plusers to get real when it comes to dating me. But I can plan for retirement. And to marry for retirement.
Here's the logic of it: both of you have time, you've got money, and you're too tired to look for that unrealistic fantasy of the perfect mate. You know the grass isn't any greener over there, and you know how to enjoy the years that are left. The quality of each other's personalities will be what really matters, because the sex-drive is low. Vanity is lost, and only the choice to enjoy each day as much as possible is viable.
Not that any of this is my mom's reality - I am only surmising. I just see that it's working for her... and I really don't see most men coming to their senses any time soon. They still think they rule the world, after all. And they watch way too much porn.
Anyway, having made this decision to marry for retirement has really freed me up to do what I want to do in the mean time. Change careers, start a business, and ride bikes. Stop worrying about aging and dating. These things are a drag. Working toward a different kind of success is not.
So, who knows, maybe in twenty years or so some of you will be getting a call from Aruba...
3 comments:
It sounds like a great plan Sweet. It worked well for Anna Nicole. lol.
Hear, here! I read a very interesting book lately (yes, the one about the cougars) that proposed the perfect formula for a woman is half her age + 7. This, of course, means I'd be dating a 28 year old man (just about perfect, in many ways, but a dreadful age in many others).
I've chopped five years off my on-line profiles. Might chop a few more now that I've had micro-dermabrasion.
Aruba rocks! So does your mom.
My own mom went hog wild for about 4 years after she retired; China, Turkey, Burma (?), Thailand, France. Did things unimaginable 20 years ago. Then she became the caretaker for her own mother, 90+ and ornery, and had to curtail things a bit. The sad part is, despite my Mom's eternally grateful 70+ boyfriend, she can't go anywhere because grandma is gonna live forever.
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